Friday, July 24, 2009

Dossier confirms being handed over to India by Pakistan

Dossier confirms being handed over to India by Pakistan
By Hyper Bola July 24, 2009

Egypt
: Governments of India and Pakistan are at loggerheads again. Recently, the Prime Ministers of two countries issued a joint statement about peace talks, terrorism and the entire gamut of bilateral relations between the two nations. The two leaders also agreed to play games they used to play when they were in 5th standard in school.

Pakistani PM Gilani tried to Hi-Five Indian counterpart Singh. But Singh pulled his hand away at the last moment. One of the many 5th standard games the two leaders played in Egypt.

The Pakistani government is now claiming that they had also handed Singh a dossier describing Indian hand in terrorism existing in Pakistan. The Indian government rubbishes such claims and denies the existence of any such dossier. Manmohan Singh said that the said dossier is as fictional as Santa Claus.
PM Singh seen sitting in the lap of Santa Claus. He still denies Santa’s existence though. No gifts for him this year.

Pakistan obviously stands by its statement and asserts that it handed India the detailed dossier. Pakistan also went on to state that it handed India the tooth fairy, a unicorn and Priyanka Kothari’s acting abilities. On investigation, COI found all three to be imaginary entities.
Pakistan claims they handed Singh a ‘Mala’ of tooth fairy, Unicorn and Priyanka Kothari’s acting abilities, all three fictional entities.

Minister of State for External Affairs Shashi Tharoor felt angry at such claims. He stated in an overly complicated fashion: “we don't believe that deflecting responsibilities for things that are happening in the disfunctioning of the state to their neighbours who have conducted themselves very differently is a very healthy practice” He then put on a thick American Accent and said “We wish for a prosperous Pakistan but we keep getting a preposterous Pakistan!” He also revealed the algorithm describing the modus operandi of their neighbour’s government. COI hereby reveals that secret document for it’s readers:

Shashi Tharoor built this flowchart describing Pakistan government’s functioning

COI decided to get to the root of the issue and interviewed the dossier itself. The Dossier confirmed that it did change hands in Egypt. It was due to another 5th standard game called pass-it-on where much like musical chairs, music was played in the background and stopped intermittently and the guy who had the dossier in the end, lost.


The Dossier confirmed that this game was just a suggestion from veteran actor Sanjay Dutt who keeps getting typecast in ‘bad guy with a good heart with a name Moosa’ kind of role and who was just there promoting his super crap movie ‘Luck’.

When asked about the obvious false contents of itself, the dossier questioned our prejudices. “Why do you guys presuppose that there cannot be any Indian hand in Pakistan terrorism? How easy it is for you to attribute every bad occurrence to a Pakistani hand. Why should it be so difficult for them to believe that you are working against them? Why do you trust communication between the two nations to only a handful of leaders? What can happen until the citizens start talking with each other? You fought a common enemy, British forces, once and succeeded. Now you are fighting a common enemy called Taliban. Is it not time for you guys to join hands? Can you not at the very least interact with each other on internet forums? Until then how can you blame them for thinking you are the natural bad guys. After all, the last three Bollywood movies to release in Pakistan are Kambakht Ishq, Victory and RGV ki AAG. Is that not torture?”

COI has asked Sunny Deol to investigate into these claims.

1 comment:

  1. 5th standard game - that was a great tool to lead the post. The dossier said it. Witty and smooth. Keep up the good work.

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