Hillary’s visit confirms missing sacks of Indian MediaBy Midyajun kee July 19, 2009
Mumbai: US Secretary of State, Hillary Rodham Clinton is on her first official tour to India on a quest of deepening the strategic ties between the two countries. A by-product of her visit though is the confirmation that Indian Media has badly been missing some solid sacks for a while now.
The apparently graceful Hillary interacts with Indian Media
Our sources indicate that in an interview with an editor of a News channel, Hillary expressed her opinion on India being ‘a global power’ and the happiness index of media folks jumped through the roof. “It made headlines all over. One would think that a global power would not need validation from others about its status, but the hype and activity after that interview was shocking. Why is it that every time a US diplomat says something good about us we start thumping our chests? Why do we need them to make us feel good about ourselves” our sources asked.
COI decided to investigate this further and interviewed a trusted source from the Hillary camp, her aide in foreign policy formation, Ms. Money Pull Ateev.
COI: Are the allegations against Indian media true?
Ms. Ateev: It’s true. I have never seen a nation’s media that does so much harm to its citizens’ self-confidence. All it takes is one comment from us and they start going ga-ga over all our combined achievements and our collective greatness. Even the politicians fall for this move. We have used this tactic multiple times.
COI: How does this damage confidence?
Ms. Ateev: Well, the interviewer started by asking Hilldog about the 26/11 trials, or the lack of it, and asked her if she is concerned about that. Why does that matter? Is it not an internal issue for your country? Should YOU not be concerned about it? These types of interactions disallow forming your own action plans and promote a feeling of relief after someone else has expressed concerns.
Ms. Ateev: Well, the interviewer started by asking Hilldog about the 26/11 trials, or the lack of it, and asked her if she is concerned about that. Why does that matter? Is it not an internal issue for your country? Should YOU not be concerned about it? These types of interactions disallow forming your own action plans and promote a feeling of relief after someone else has expressed concerns.
COI: How have you used this tendency in the past?
Ms. Ateev : We forced Israel into not giving India Military Jets. All we had to do to pacify Indians was to praise their defense capabilities. We lobbied against the India-Iran gas pipeline project and stopped a very important energy resource from reaching India. All we had to do was talk good about India’s energy resources and their wisdom in utilizing it.
Ms. Ateev : We forced Israel into not giving India Military Jets. All we had to do to pacify Indians was to praise their defense capabilities. We lobbied against the India-Iran gas pipeline project and stopped a very important energy resource from reaching India. All we had to do was talk good about India’s energy resources and their wisdom in utilizing it.
COI: But that was a while back and not under this administration.
Ms. Ateev: Recently Robert Blake, Assistant Secretary of AEI said that India can help US shape the next century and all attendees were happy. Should they not be happier taking a leading role in shaping the next century or is playing second fiddle nice and comfortable?
Ms. Ateev: Recently Robert Blake, Assistant Secretary of AEI said that India can help US shape the next century and all attendees were happy. Should they not be happier taking a leading role in shaping the next century or is playing second fiddle nice and comfortable?
COI: What is the goal of this visit?
Ms. Ateev: Well, the new administration visited Pakistan and China, but not India. So the Indian Media started whining and crying like babies. We had to plan a visit to stop the annoying batter. Also, we are looking to again praise India’s economy and energy so that we can stop them from emitting growth carbons.
Ms. Ateev: Well, the new administration visited Pakistan and China, but not India. So the Indian Media started whining and crying like babies. We had to plan a visit to stop the annoying batter. Also, we are looking to again praise India’s economy and energy so that we can stop them from emitting growth carbons.
COI: What are growth carbons?
Ms. Ateev: they are the carbon emissions emitted by any country while in its growth phase. US emitted a heck lot of them and our growth phase is single handedly responsible for global warming. Now that it is India’s time to grow, we want to stop them from emitting growth carbons.
Ms. Ateev: they are the carbon emissions emitted by any country while in its growth phase. US emitted a heck lot of them and our growth phase is single handedly responsible for global warming. Now that it is India’s time to grow, we want to stop them from emitting growth carbons.
COI: Not sure we agree with you. You are doing a good thing. In the past there was little knowledge about this so countries emitted these growth carbons. Now there is knowledge and alternative. We believe you guys are doing a good thing.
Ms. Ateev: BS! We are champions of this. We have 5% of the world’s population yet consume 26% of its energy resources. Worldwide some 2 billion people are without electricity and an average US resident consumes power about 9 times that of the rest of the world’s average. We are the single largest emitter of Carbon Dioxide, accounting for 23% of world’s emissions. How can you even listen to what we have to say? I guess it’s your media’s fault for giving us too much spotlight. The importance your interviewer was giving to the fact that Hillary likes Indian food was hilarious. He really tickled Hillary.
Ms. Ateev: BS! We are champions of this. We have 5% of the world’s population yet consume 26% of its energy resources. Worldwide some 2 billion people are without electricity and an average US resident consumes power about 9 times that of the rest of the world’s average. We are the single largest emitter of Carbon Dioxide, accounting for 23% of world’s emissions. How can you even listen to what we have to say? I guess it’s your media’s fault for giving us too much spotlight. The importance your interviewer was giving to the fact that Hillary likes Indian food was hilarious. He really tickled Hillary.
Arnab Goswami, seen tickling Hillary with his thumb. Hillary seems shocked at his gesture.
COI: Well, thank you for sharing your internal policies with us Ms. Ateev. We wish you all the best in all your future endeavors.
Ms. Ateev: No Problem. You guys share your policies with us all the time. We just have to praise your communication skills. Have a great day! You are a great interviewer!
Aah.. This stopped being the sarcastic post that it was and has started speaking sense. Mr. Editor..watch out..
ReplyDeleteBTW.. You have seen nothing if you didnt see Hillary and Aamir while they ...spoke about education reforms in India. The most appropriate candidates for the discussion
Your post extracted the apparent core of the proceedings - a heightened display of self assurance whose presence does not add anything more but layers of shimmer to hide or procrastinate the relevant issues. Embedding the statistics was a great move to make the reader think for himself. Hoping to see more of where that came from.
ReplyDelete@Shubha - Ha ha ha, the intention has always been to make sense, but before there was Murphy, there was Bankelal. Worry not, as there will be no dearth of the topics reported on that are themselves nothing short of non-sense.
ReplyDelete@game for your name - dhanyawaad for your continued evaluations of the posts. The site's format relies on the reader's ability to make sense of the sarcastic content. We basically assume that the reader has great intellect. wish you could therefore be cloned.