Non Revolutionary Indian Budget Angers Investors

By Laura M Arora, July 6, 2009
Crimes News Network.

Dalal Street: Investors expressed shock and grief at what was a non revolutionary budget unveiled by Congress this morning. “We were expecting big things, historical things, revolutionary things, more reforms, more disinvestment, more deregulation, more disorientation but the congress chose to unveil a cautionary budget in the times of crisis. This greatly disappoints us” said D.K. Bose, an influential trader on Dalal Street.

Finance Minister Pranab Mukherjee , center, holding the last remaining briefcase of investor’s wealth.

According to Bose, this spells doom for investors, Indian and Foreign alike, who had invested in the Indian growth story. “After such a big build up by media, there should have been something revolutionary. This was totally a sensible budget, utter drab; he did not even sing a poem!”

Earlier today, the new Indian government unveiled a $210 billion budget that vastly increases welfare and rural spending in an effort to stimulate economic growth, but also will likely widen the fiscal deficit to its largest gap in 18 years. This did not go down well with foreign investors who do not give two hoots about the fact that 70% of India’s population lives in rural areas.

“Where the F*** are my financial reforms??!!” yelled foreigner MD of the Indian branch of a multinational investment bank, who might get laid off if his trading team’s position on India has to be changed from long to short, foregoing millions of dollars in useless paper money. “This is not fair to India, Inc also I’m telling you” he added, choosing conveniently to forget that the IT industry has been given an extension year in tax breaks.

Of course, COI also found naïve supporters of this ridiculous budget. Below email was sent to us by inclusive_growth_rocks_1402 “Do we really believe that in a credit crisis caused by major risk taking amongst other factors, financial reforms take priority over infrastructure and microfinance focus? And financial reforms WILL be done and money WILL flow in again when that happens. But let a more fundamental growth in economy fuel India's trading up this time and there won't be hues and cries about disparity and infrastructure.” COI, of course, deleted that email.

Former cricketer Navjot Sing Sidhu was also shocked by this. “OYE GURUUUUU! SUCH KIND OF NON REVOLUTIONARY BUDGETING SHOULD NOT AT ALL BE TOLERATED BY THE CITIZENS” He said loudly. “WHEN THE FISH HAS TO DRINK WATER, THE CATERPILLAR CLOSES HIS EYES LIKE A BRICK ON A FRYPAN WITHOUT OIL INSIDE A CYCLE STAND” He added before jumping to run after Pyarizyada Khola.